Is what he told me... I agreed to post it even though I don't think many people would actually fall for this one (No offense James!). But I believe, or I'd like to believe, that most people would see right through this scam.
Here it is! James' Craigslist horror story. Oh man!James is from Texas. (I can't help putting ol' George W's face on this one) Just makes it a little more humorous to me I guess. But this is nothing to laugh at!) It's just the image that came to me when I was reading the post that's all. My apologies to all Bush supporters.
So it's a Saturday afternoon and James is home alone. James is 46 years old and he lives with his sister and his mother. They're away for the weekend and he decides he'd like to get some action while he's got the house to himself.
So he does his local search on Craigslist. Now James is a little picky from what he told me and only searches the ads with pictures. (You ever notice how these are the ones that appear the spammiest?)
Here's the one that caught his attention.
18 year old virgin
Hi guys! I'm 18 and I''m looking to lose my virginity tonight to an older man. Here is a picture of what I look like. If you like what you see, please reply.
Okay ... I know what you're all thinking! But not everyone has seen the Harry Potter films. Let's give poor James a break. He's been through quite an ordeal.
Let's move on.
So he's interested in this ad. And replies
Hi I think you're very beautiful and would love to be the man you lose your virginity to. So what else can you tell me about yourself?
Thanks! Well, I'm 18, my name is Emma (I shit you not this is what she told him her name was)
I like staying at home, watching movies and cuddling.
Now James figured he's got the house to himself and it was a wonderful opportunity for them to watch a movie, cuddle and, of course, take this lovely eighteen year old's virginity. After a couple of emails back and forth they arranged to meet.
It's all set up! Emma is going to spend the night at James' house. He gives her his phone number in case she gets lost or whatever.
A few minutes later Emma calls him.
Hi hun it's Emma. I should be there in about 45 minutes. Can't wait to meet!
Great! I'll be waiting for you!
So now James does what most men would do when expecting a woman. This is what he told me "So I cleaned up the house real quick, hid all my porn magazines under the couch and sprayed some perfume on my dick so it'd smell real nice for her" James we'll discuss this one in private buddy. I sent you an email. Please read it! Moving on.
About 10 minutes later the phone rings.
Hi baby! I don't know how to tell you this but I just got in my car and noticed I'm all out of gas. I don't have much money since I'm a full time student and don't work. Would it be possible for you to send me 30 bucks or something like that?
Umm.. How am I supposed to do that? Why don't you just take a cab and I'll pay for it when you get here.
No I can't do that. I'm scared to take a cab. If it's a problem never mind I'll just stay home. I thought you were nice enough to help me get there. Never mind.
No no no it's no problem. How do I send you the money though?
You do have a paypal account don't you? Well mine is linked to a card I have and I can withdraw it and I'll be on my way.
Alright not a problem.
LUCKILY James HAS a paypal account and he's got quite a bit of dough in there from some past ebay sales. Pheeww..
He sends her the 30$ and she's now on her way.
RING RING.. (20 minutes later)
Hi handsome! You won't believe what happened to me! I just got to the gas station and I'm having car trouble. The good news is the fellow that works here says he can fix it in 20 minutes but needs 120$ for the part. Should we just call it a night and forget this whole thing?
NO No! Let me just send you the 120$ you need to fix the car. I can't leave you stranded there.
You're so sweet! I promise to repay you later! You won't regret this!
Come on James! Are you kidding me? At this point hasn't anything crossed your mind??
I guess not because there's more. Keep reading.
An hour later
RIINGG!!!
Hi James! I'm on my way. I was wondering. Do you have any alcohol there?
Sure.
What about Johnnie Walker Blue Label? It's the only thing I drink and there's a special on King George V edition. It's only going for 300$. When I drink JWB it makes me sooooo horny... Should I pick us up a bottle or is it too much money? You're not cheap James are you?
Of course not. I'll send you the money.
Oh you're the best! You know what James? I'm a little wet just thinking about losing my virginity to you tonight. I can't wait!
Oh man it's painful to write this as I'm sure it's painful for you all to read it. The sad part is there's more. Really. It gets worse. I don't know exactly what was going through his mind at the time. But a stunning 18 year old virgin has the ability to make us do whatever it is she wants us to do (I'm trying as hard as I can to defend you here James)
Ring ring ring
Is this James? (A man's voice)
This is James!
We have your girlfriend here and if you ever want to see her you'll have to give us five thousand dollars! She says you have a way to send it to her?
(The skank in the background) James please help me!
Don't call the police or we'll kill her. Send us the money and we'll let her go.
I don't have that kind of money.
Well how much can you send us?
I can send you 500$ I don't have anything else.
Okay send it to her now and we'll let her go.
So our brilliant and caring friend James sends the 500$.
A few minutes later the phone rings again
Oh honey it was so scary they were going to kill me. You saved my life. I'm so scared right now. I won't be able to come over in this condition. I'm going to my mother's house and I'll call you tomorrow so we can arrange to meet some other time! Sorry! click
That's the last he heard from Emma. He told his friend what happened to him and his friend pointed out how he was scammed. He never did figure this one out on his own.
I guess the lesson here.. is that .. I don't know... the truth is I don't know anybody that would ever fall for anything like this. Oh wait I got one! The lesson here is that even when we hear a woman's voice on the phone we should still be cautious. Men are not the only ones in the E-Whoring business.
My advice to you James is to maybe make some sort of police report or try to get paypal to trace the transactions or something. I'm no expert on how this stuff works but it's worth a try. But unfortunately before the trap is set, their tracks are usually covered.
I know I was a little hard on you in my post James but you have to understand how ridiculous this is. I'm sure even "Emma" couldn't believe it every time you transferred those funds. I'm surprised she didn't keep this going and she stopped contacting you. You were like an ATM sent from heaven. Good luck to you in the future my friend and beware! Things aren't always what they seem to be.
James can I have your phone number?? You still got a PayPal Account? I'm an 18 year old virgin too!
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